Do you have messages from your inner critic that sabotage your business success and place of peace and ease?
If so, you’re not alone!
I have seen for myself and my clients, that it is common to have inner critic chatter that doesn’t serve us.
For myself, my inner dialogue has had a tendency to show up to make mountains out of mole hills.
I’ve gotten better at recognizing this and putting a kabash on it when I spot it. And slowly this pattern is changing. But like many deep patterns, this one can still be my default reaction, especially if I’m already stressed.
So when I was reading this “Secrets To A Less Stressful Life” article, one line really popped out to me – “so much of what we worry about is based not just on what’s happening in our lives but the messages we tell ourselves about what’s happening“.
The actual reality around us can indeed have an impact – but the inner messages you tell yourself about that outer reality is what makes YOUR reality.
Currently I’m being mindful of this and want to share a great countering tip I’ve been using against my “mountain out of molehill” pattern.
Instead of building a situation up, instead I am approaching it from a place of assuming a positive intention.
When I assume the people I encounter or interact with come from a place of good and not malice, it takes away my reactive defensive patterns and all sorts of cool things open up for me.
Because energy follows thought, when I assume a positive intention I behave as such, and the other person typically responds in kind.
Let me share a story of how using this approach against my inner critic chatter helped me keep my stress levels low and get a positive, if delayed, outcome.
Earlier this spring, I had a situation involving a collaborative partner. We had chosen to discontinue our independent contractor agreement and I was owed one final payment. After waiting three weeks without it arriving, I emailed the person back.
In the past, I would have started telling myself stories about not getting paid or the person trying to skip out on our arrangement. That would have increased my stress and possibly my email would have had an accusing undertone.
Instead, I assumed positive intention and wrote a neutral email simply stating the fact that the check was missing and expressing curiosity about what could have happened.
The check had been sent but somehow never showed up.
This was followed by further conversation, another replacement check that was sent and still didn’t show up. The post office had no explanation. Further neutral emails were exchanged, and though it took more time that I would have liked, the check arrived and the situation was resolved.
I admit that the situation was somewhat frustrating and there were times I had my doubts.
But had I not stayed in the place of assuming positive intention and acting from it, I am sure the situation (internal and external) would have been much worse.
Copyright © 2017 to present Jamie Durner, Holistic Business Mentor Coach @ holisticbusinessprosperity.com. All rights reserved.
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